Adult Emotional Dependency (AED)
The Problem: Dependency causes suffering
Our human nature is to become self-reliant and emotionally independent in adulthood. Emotionally independent individuals are able to interact freely and comfortably with partners, families, friends and community – from a place of equality and personal empowerment. This allows us to be socially inter-dependent, the ability to interact and share our lives with people by free choice – not constrained by fear and need.
Emotional dependency in adulthood builds complex and painful layers of anxiety and fear and typically results in several debilitating emotions/feelings. These include, fear of rejection, judgment and abandonment, social and performance anxiety, confidence and relationship issues, neediness, numbness, insecurity, narcissism, arrogance, sadness, loneliness, procrastination, addictions, and in severe cases, depression. Dependency also overwhelms our brainpower, thereby reducing our overall performance capabilities.
Cause: Missing Parental Models IS the cause of dependency
We are born with the tools needed to become emotionally mature and self-reliant as we move from childhood into young adulthood. During our childhood these tools remain undeveloped and/or dormant, causing us to be dependent on our parents or guardians. As we approach puberty our natural need for self-leadership and emotional independence begin to awaken with the purpose of converting our relationships from dependent to independent. The level of success we achieve in our transition to emotional independence is determined by the life-models we learned from our parents.
Though this is Nature’s plan, it frequently fails because our parents and/or guardians have not achieved emotional independence themselves, so they cannot model and teach these essential life skills to their children. Without good parental models of self-leadership and self-reliance we become either unaware or unable to make the shift from dependency to self-reliance. This missing developmental stage keeps us unable to self-satisfy our emotional needs throughout our life, thus emotionally dependent from the world around us. This highly vulnerable state causes a variety of consequences and unhealthy behaviors related to emotional dependency. In severe cases can cause feelings of isolation, leading to self-medication through alcohol, drugs, or to other unhealthy behaviors including depression, violence or suicide.
SOLUTION: PRESENTING AND IMPLEMENTING A MODEL OF SELF-LEADERSHIP
Mind Fitness™ helps you to conquer emotional independence, releasing all unwanted layers of anxiety and fear. By clearing your mind and making inefficient behaviors built around dependency obsolete, your mind will redirect your brainpower towards creating efficient behaviors, performance, self-confidence, efficiency, clarity, and happiness.
The 12 session basic program of emotional and spiritual education blended with guided meditations, provides an emotional framework that mimics the parental models needed to provide the confidence of self-leadership. Once the framework is in-place and the capacity for self-reliance is engaged, Mind Fitness™ guides and trains your mind to clear away unwanted layers of anxiety and fears. Within a couple of weeks of completing the program daily feelings of isolation created by dependency are transformed into the ability to relate comfortably and inter-dependently, through the prism of choice and not need, with others.
The effect is staggering – the isolation created by dependency is transformed to enjoyable inter-dependent relationships with others – where you finally see and enjoy the world around you without anxiety or fears, acting by choice instead of need. Obsolete behaviors built around dependency thus disappear – allowing the mind to redirect the reclaimed brainpower and use it to achieve higher levels of performance, efficiency and happiness in every area of your life.
THE AED SYMPTOMS
AED causes the symptoms related to the ‘need for others’ as source of protection and emotional fulfillment:
Fear of experiencing:
Belief in the need for:
- External leadership and validation
- Over-giving to being a ‘pleaser’
- Accepting abuse to get affection
- Neediness and self-focus
- Social anxiety
- Chronic insecurity
- Lacking an identity
- Being a fraud and a failure
- Being a child in a world of adults
- Resentment for the lack of external leadership and support
Emotional dependency throughout adult life creates:
- Feeling overwhelmed and tired
- Dependency in relationships
- Loneliness and solitude
- Loss of spirit-mind connection
- Panic attacks
- Chronic anger
- Unwarranted fears
- An inferiority complex
- Antisocial tendencies
- Emotional and spiritual numbness
- Borderline personality
- Unsuccessful personal life and relationships
- Unfulfilled artistic and professional aspirations
Living without AED
- Become emotionally self-sufficient and independent.
- Enhance strengths and confidence – establishing leadership in the professional and personal life.
- Clear the real cause of addictions – taking control over life’s events.
- Manage successfully thoughts, feelings and emotions.
- Enhance creative, academic, artistic and athletic performances.
- Spark attraction - experiencing fulfilling, happy and balanced relationships.
- Clear procrastination, getting things done - achieving life-long goals.
- Free the natural powers - gaining efficiency and success in every aspects of life.
- Establish an efficient spirit-mind alighnment - accessing unconditional happiness.
- Fully capitalize on the therapeutic and self-development work done in the past, and the future efforts invested in personal development.